Involving The Groom
While pre-wedding planning has long been the domain of brides, today's new breed of grooms have some definite ideas of their own. Instead of sitting on the sidelines with the phrase "whatever youwant dear," on their lips and near their wallets, grooms today are being much more active in expressing their own desires and ideas for the wedding that is as much theirs as it is the brides.
To ensure both of you get your heart's desires, sit down in the early stages and talk about how involve each of you want to be in the planning stages, and what areas you have definite desires in. If both of you have thoughts and ideas of your own on what type of reception venue you should have - and those ideas differ greatly from one another, there may be some serious negotiations that need to take place. If you are adamant about what sorts of flowers you would like to see, and your fiancé has no preference but instead is equally adamant about the type of music he would like to hear played,then you may be able to give the one with the greatest preference the gift of choice.
Typically, though not always, men will veer away from such items as flowers, centerpieces and decorative wedding accessories, and choose instead to focus their attentions on such items as venue, menu, music and wedding favors. Unfortunately for the bride, unless she really opens up the lines of communication, her fiancé will often not make it clear which items he wishes to be involved in and which he doesn't, sometimes not even sure himself where his interests lie.
To help with communication, some brides have chosen the direct yet indirect approach of writing the decisions and options for wedding details on a dry erase board or posting them on a bulletin board. That way her fiancé has the option to review all of the areas where decisions need to be made, and if he wishes to express interest in one, two or all of the items, he has the option.
Of course there are still the holdouts who would prefer to sit on the sidelines, and the fiancées that would prefer they be involved, instead of the other way around. To help get those types of fiancés off the fences they are sitting on, it's best to give them concrete options rather than open ended questions. Instead of saying "Where would you like the reception to be held?", offer them five or six options to choose from that will allow them to be a part of the planning, even if only slightly.
A wedding day is the joining of two lives, and therefore should also be about the joining of two sets of ideas, no matter how they may differ. If your husband-to-be is excited about being a part of thepre-planning process, celebrate it, if he's not, work to get him there – you'll both be glad you did.
©2009 Weddingstar Inc.
