He Who Pays

With the creation of a wedding budget comes the ultimate decision of who will provide the funds that will ultimately be the core of that budget's existence.

In times past, it was the responsibility of the bride's parents to provide for all the costs and accoutrements of the wedding, including the dress, wedding accessories and the reception itself.

In today's more self-sufficient world, the expense of a wedding is usually one shared between the bride and groom's family, and more often than not, with funds provided by the bride and groom themselves. A shared contribution that allows each contributor to have a say in the decision making process.

But in the rare instance when a bride's family decides to revert to the tradition of old, and pay for the wedding in its entirety. Quite often what will go hand in hand with that decision, is the expectation that they will have the ultimate decision in what goes on.

While having the wedding expenses paid for exclusively by one individual can take the financial pressure away from a bridal couple, the resulting emotional pressure of needing to give up control of their own wedding, can sometimes make paying their own way seem much more appealing.

So, how do you approach a situation such as this fraught with potential emotions?

First off, sit down with the individual(s) who have offered to pay to find out what their expectations consist of. In a best case scenario, they will have a similar vision to your own and everyone can walk away from the meeting with the excitement of planning a wedding together.

Unfortunately the opposite can be true, and in that instance, some clear and defining rules and guidelines need to be set up. And some hard to make and bitter to swallow concessions may need to follow.

If bending is not something you do well, and it is a trait you inherited from the individual who has offered to pay, you need to seriously consider if this is the road you wish to travel down, for ultimately he/she who pays has the say.

A wedding is a personal experience, if the kind of wedding you wish for is different from the expectations of the person offering to pay, you may wish to reconsider their generous offer, and have the wedding you want, on the budget you can afford.

Or better yet, reach a compromise, whereby they pay for the areas you agree on, and you pay for the ones you don't. A compromise that could end in a win win wedding leaving everyone satisfied.

©2008 Weddingstar Inc.