The ABC's of Guest Lists

Planning a wedding is never easy, but sometimes the most difficult decisions come from the creation and inevitable cutting of your guest list.  Whether it's because of an over enthusiastic in-law whose extended family absolutely "must" be invited, a space consideration that limits the number of guests you can have, or budget constraints that make it difficult to invite more than a select few, cutting a guest list down is an inevitable task that faces most bridal couples. Here are a few suggestions to make that paring down easier.

First write down all the guests that you, in an ideal world, would like to have share in your special day, including those suggestions from parents that may include relatives or friends of theirs that you have never met.

With your comprehensive list in hand, the next thing is to start compartmentalizing guests into three distinct lists.  The A list, the B list and the C list.

For your A list, choose only those people for whom it is not a questions of whether or not they should attend.  These are the must have guests, whom your wedding would not be the same without.  For your B list, choose those whose presence at your wedding would be enjoyable and whom you consider a friend, these are the "we would like to have there" guests that would cause you a little distress if they were not in attendance.

Then there is the C list, full of those people who it would be "nice" if they could attend. This is the list that will often end up first on the cutting room floor, when it comes time to pare down.

Once categorized, as a courtesy the guest list should go before parents and in-laws for their input, though the final say will always rest with the bride and groom.  Unless of course, the parents are the ones paying for the wedding in its entirety. They should be the ones with the ultimate authority, unless you are taking over the expense of the wedding yourself.

If challenges and conflicts do arise with parents or future-in-laws, first try to appeal to them from the standpoint that it is your wedding and should include guests that only you want to be there, second try to work out a compromise, that would include a set number of guest spots that they are free to do with as they like, often 10-20% of the guest list as a whole.

For most bridal couples and their families though, compromise and dividing your guests into those that you wish to invite, those you feel you should invite and those you feel you must invite is sufficient to ensure that your guest list is the least of your worries.  

©2009 Weddingstar Inc.